Name________________________________________________________Date _______________

 

School___________________________________________________________________________

 

 

All human behaviors can be represented by this formula:

 

Event (E)     Filtered through Belief System (B.S.)   Feelings/Action (F)

 

Example:  E= A friend said he would meet you for lunch then doesn’t show up.

F= He made me feel bad.  I’m unimportant.  I wouldn’t have done that to him.  I feel sad because he didn’t even think to call me on my cell!

B.S.= Everything must go the way I want it to. If he didn’t show up then he doesn’t think I’m a worthwhile person so I must not be!

 

Steps you can take to explore your belief system:

 

Write a sentence to state your feelings:

 

________________________________________________________________________________

 

Decide exactly what about the event upsets you.

 

________________________________________________________________________________

 

Have a conversation with yourself to decide if your B.S. is absolutely provable For example-

 

a. True beyond the shadow of a doubt? b. False

c. Maybe True; Maybe False.  I can’t prove it.

 

If your belief system involves something you think someone else is feeling about you CHECK IT OUT WITH THEM!

 

Restate your B.S. by saying something like: It would be nice if ______________________________ happened but I’ll survive even if it doesn’t.

 

Practice this self questioning technique practice, practice, practice, practice…

 

Fill in the blanks to practice:

1. E= You find out that your boss wants to tell you something that he’s unhappy about.

 

F=___________________________________________________________________________

 

B.S.= I must be perfect in everything I do.  I must be afraid to see him.  If I were smart I wouldn’t go into work today.

 

2. E = You attempt to help a friend with a problem and they tell you to “bug off!”

 

F = ___________________________________________________________________________

 

B.S. __________________________________________________________________________

 

 

3. Fill in your own from past experience:  Be ready to share in a large group before leaving. E=______________________________________________________________________________

 

F=______________________________________________________________________________